New Years was over and 2014 had begun. It did not seem any different than 2013, other than my state of mind. I had to concentrate on the few projects at hand and only ones that were going to be long term successes. I had to stop taking on a new project every 30 days and had to start saying “no” to people around me that wanted me to do work for them for free. This is a common occurrence in Costa Rica where you will be promised future income for doing work for someone, or they will try to tug at your heart strings to help them out. It is quite normal for you to never be paid that future income and for them to not even thank you for any help you give. There was going to be no more free work given out to people.
I had to completely adjust my psyche for 2014 and saying “no” as well as not doing things I did not want to do were on the top of the list of my new year’s resolutions. Believe it or not, I have a good heart although sometimes I get so frustrated with the people and things around me it is hard to tell. I think my biggest problem is tact. When something is on my mind or if someone asks me a question, expect to get a truthful response. I think most people do not want to hear the actual truth. My warning to those around me, if you ask a question that you might not like the answer to then I am not the person to ask. For example, if someone asks me a question like “Do you think I am ready to have a baby?” and I have seen them unable to take care of themselves, I am going to tell them no, and why I think that.
The other big change that I was trying to implement was that I did not want to let others bring me down. This is a lot harder than it seems for me. I know I should not let other people’s drama effect me in my life and it is why I try as hard as I can to live a life of solitude. This world is filled with haters and trolls and I think sometimes that Costa Rica is where most of them come after being rejected in their home countries. There are jealous eyes lurking around every corner. The unfortunate truth is that often the people who hold us back the most are those closest to us. Getting rid of these people is often the best solution, but also the most difficult.
I was slowly removing these people from my life, but they would continually try to claw their way back in, normally by bringing drama into my life. There is nothing worse than that person who knows they are being cut out of your life and will do whatever they can to try to remain in your life and suck more life out of you. When they realize that you are dead set on seeking your freedom there will be a last ditch effort to make your life as miserable as possible, and will even try to hamper your success. I had to break all ties with the passion and emotional leeches that were killing any chance I had to be happy.
The best thing was that I now had a financial backer to help with the projects. This was the biggest hindrance that I had in the past when it came to achieving success. When all the cash you have coming in goes to bills and you can only invest a certain amount per month into what you really want to be doing then getting a business to grow is next to impossible. Throw in the fact you do not really have time to focus on your new business with the amount of time and effort that is required because you have to continue trying to generate income to live and pay your day to day expenses.
I think this is what holds people back the most in life from taking a chance on what they really want to be doing. There is a huge amount of fear in leaving that 40 hour a week job with a guaranteed paycheck in order to chase what you really want to be doing by getting on a plane to go to a foreign country and take a chance on living in a different culture. Yes, it is scary and it is not for everyone. There are people that find comfort in security, and I respect that, but it is not for me. I want to try to build something great. Although it is wildly unknown if something is going to become successful or not, I like knowing that I am enjoying my work which for me is the most important thing on a daily basis.
I remember when I was working in the corporate grind in the USA and would wake up miserable each day, dreading the trip to work, fighting traffic and then sitting in a cubical just waiting for the day to be over. I watched the Steve Jobs commencement speech at Stanford the other day and one thing that he said hit me hard. He said, “I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” I think that quote is something everyone should live by. You are given one chance at living life and if you are not happy doing what you are doing or not happy with who you are with then change.
I had looked around in my past and have seen those around me that had the financial support needed to create businesses but that did not have the business savvy to actually get them to function. Their business would fail or they would misuse the funds or both. All I had been asking for was my shot with a little cash flow that would allow me to start getting everything in order. I knew that with about $2000 extra a month that was being invested into my dreams I could get it to work. I could not and would not fail as I had fought too hard over the past years to allow that to be an option.
I think that the original reason I wanted to be successful was to prove all the naysayers wrong. I wanted to show my parents and friends that I did it when they said I never would. I wanted to show Priscilla that she screwed up by marrying for money as I now had it too. I wanted to prove to all those people that saw me at my lowest point that I had made it. However, as 2014 was beginning I knew I had to remove that train of thought from my mind.
I was already a success in my mind and that is the only person that should matter when it comes to judging your life and your happiness. I had not consumed a drop of alcohol in over 3 years. I had taken a news website from nothing to where there were over 5000 readers a day in a little over a year and a half. I had other editors of news sources in Costa Rica sending me emails showing their envy and jealousy of my success in the industry as well as some of them mimicking what I was doing. Although some of the emails received were flat out rude, the fact that they were sending them painted a picture that they were worried about the competition as well as showed I had broken through the door of the media market in Costa Rica. Was I financially where I wanted to be, “no”, but I was content with what I had accomplished so far. I loved my work and enjoyed the lifestyle I was living which is keys to both happiness and continued growth and success. In my mind I had achieved success which was living a calm life, enjoying getting up in the morning, taking a walk on the beach, writing, building websites, marketing, and going to sleep at night in a calm state of mind with a healthy soul.
Although there are some people that do not like Steve Jobs, I think there is a lot of wisdom that we can take from things he said and the life he lived. Steve said “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. Most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” I think this is something we should all follow in our lives. It is however, hard to break free from the thinking that it matters what others think. You will be ridiculed by some for making the decisions you do and at times will make you second guess yourself, but if something makes you happy, why does it matter what anyone else thinks? This is your life not theirs.
As you know, in that last push before achieving your goals and finding peace, there are people that want more than anything to tear you down. Most people in the world are lost and will be more than happy to take you along with them. The next month would be a fight against letting these negative entities back into my life and pushing through to the other side.
Next Up – Assholes & Drama