Sex News – When it comes to the future of sex, it might be headed into the realm of AI, artificial intelligence. Soon our significant others will cheat on us with robots.
If you’re already following the advice of your longevity coach and working to live as long as humanly possible (until the Singularity comes and your being is finally merged with that of a robot), then you’re probably ready to take your training to the next level. Self-quantifying via sleep tracking apps and the Nike Fuel Band will only get you so far, and unless you’re Peter Thiel, hyperbaric chambers are rather expensive. Luckily, the next step towards total transhumanism is much more pleasurable: buying a sex robot and having longevity orgasms.
Only those with an average lifespan would settle for normal orgasms. Instead, sexual satisfaction produced by a robot sex doll is quickly becoming the fantasy of many transhumanists:
Sexbots are coming, and we will cum with them. Three times a week or whatever our physician / longevity coach recommends. Because orgasms — especially the hormone-exploding O’s we’ll eventually enjoy with carnal cyborgs — are excellent for mental and physical health.
Remember the most convulsive, brain-ripping climax you ever had? The one that left you with “I could die happy now” satiety? Sexbots will electrocute our flesh with climaxes thrice as gigantic because they’ll be more desirable, patient, eager, and altruistic than their meat-bag competition, plus they’ll be uploaded with supreme sex-skills from millennia of erotic manuals, archives and academic experiments, and their anatomy will feature sexplosive devices. Sexbots will heighten our ecstasy until we have shrieking, frothy, bug-eyed, amnesia-inducing orgasms. They’ll offer us quadruple-tongued cunnilingus, open-throat silky fellatio, deliriously gentle kissing, transcendent nipple tweaking, g-spot massage & prostate milking dexterity, plus 2,000 varieties of coital rhythm with scented lubes — this will all be ours when the Sexbots arrive.
Technology hasn’t quite gotten to the point where “shrieking, frothy, bug-eyed” orgasms via sentient robots is a reality, but we’re getting close. Transhumanity points to the already-existent “Fucking Machines” and “Andydroid” for all of your longevity orgasm needs.
Suddenly your “James Deen is my next-door neighbor and needs to borrow a cup of sugar” fantasy seems so… vanilla.
By: Jessica Roy, New York Observer
Sorry to inform you girls but you’ll have to stick with your dildo. And you guys will still have to hyperventilate while blowing up your plastic sweetie. Scientists don’t have a clue how to even approach the problem of giving a mechanical brain what human brains have; judgement and creativity. Computers are, after all, just very fast computational machines. And, it would take paper and pencil programmers millions of years to write a program a computer could read that might mimmick human judgement and creativity. So, there are the dildos that have been attached to a machine to save you ladies from repetitive stress syndrome of the wrist and forearm. And same for you guys with those automated suction devices. And, I suppose clever engineers could make all those devices smaller so they could be fitted into what looked like a human body, but to get that super cumtastic mental feeling it just won’t work. Because sex, after all, is NOT a physical activity. Sex is a mental activity with physical sensors providing input and when you know there is not really a guy or gal inside that artificial body it just won’t be the same as real flesh and blood…and your mind will know it.