I am not one to kiss and tell and honestly do not feel like there is a point in doing so, but to bring some clarity to my story I really need to give some detail into that afternoon. The girl I was with was not from Costa Rica, I guess in my mind the fact that she was not from the country would erase the bad luck that I had previously had with Ticas. Yes, I know, just another excuse in my head. When you are trying to get over someone you will make up in your mind whatever you need to in order to let go of the past and the pain.
As we headed back to the house from the bar I was not very comfortable at all. It is very difficult to be a person that wants to believe in love and being with just one person and yet be taking a complete stranger back home to have sex. I know some people will get angered by my next statement, but fulfilling your sexual needs is an important part of life. I had been basically celibate for a while and although I tried repeatedly to convince myself that I was ok without the touch of another, it was not true.
In the past if I wanted to have a random hookup or a one night stand there was always alcohol involved. I, like most bar people, would justify my behavior and why I never called anyone back by telling myself that I had been drunk and that no one was ever really hurt. I guess karma really is a bitch and it certainly came back to haunt me in a Costa Rica hospital. Without the ability to dull my nerves with alcohol meeting and “hooking up” with women was quite the different situation.
Upon arriving at my house my friend went downstairs and myself and the working girl sat and talked in the living room. I was getting more comfortable with the girl and then my stupid heart started talking to me again. Maybe you could date this girl. Maybe you can save her from this life she is living and make her a proper woman. What if this was not just a one day thing? She continued to say that she liked that I did not drink and party and that she was looking for a good man. Maybe I was this guy she was looking for?
After that afternoon (sorry not going into details) we stayed in touch and spoke on a daily basis. It was becoming a friendship as opposed to a business arrangement like on day one. I thought to myself this is the perfect situation. Maybe dating this girl would make the perfect situation for me.
I began to list the reasons in my head to why this might work out for me.
- She worked weekends and nights so I had time to myself while she was doing her job
- She had her own money. Being one of the highest paying jobs in Costa Rica has its perks.
- She could not get jealous if I hung out with girls as she did the same and more with guys.
The list went on and on but somewhere in my mind I was trying to convince myself that her lifestyle could coincide with being a good girlfriend. For about 2 weeks this worked out perfectly. I would hang out with her for a few hours during the day and then head back home to go to work. About three nights a week she would come over and stay the night. But then it happened, I started to actually have feelings for her. Remind me not to do that again………
After the first “I love you” came out of her mouth, things got real, really fast. All of a sudden those nights and weekends free turned into calls asking where I was and what I was doing. The conversations that she would have in the morning about her work the night before were not what I wanted to be woken up to. The fact that these girls make $2000 plus a week from men that have been working their entire lives makes them think that money grows on trees and that all gringos have $500 to blow in a night. Being that I was investing almost all the money I was making back into the businesses made each dollar count, a concept that she was unable to grasp. Then there was the jealousy………
If you have dated a woman and especially a Latina woman (in most cases) they are as jealous as they come. I guess a lifetime of growing up around a culture of men where being a womanizer is accepted makes you that way. Let’s add in the fact that the men that working girls in Costa Rica are around are pretty much the bottom dwellers of the earth. These are the men that have a beautiful wife and kids at home and have come down to just “get some strange”. Many of the men taking part in sex tourism in Costa Rica are married, have a significant other, or are getting married soon. It is no wonder that the prostitutes in Costa Rica have no trust in men. This probably does not just apply to the prostitutes; women in general have a hard time trusting men because most of us are dogs. Even when I was working at my house or in a business meeting she would always wonder where I was and the truth was never enough. I thought the fact that she was able to go and have sex every night with different men would erase take the jealousy card out of the deck but it just made it worse. It got to a point where I dreaded the phone calls and text messages.
Then you have to throw in the daily drama that you get to experience. The women that work in this business are cutthroat business women. They will stab a “friend” in the back if the money is right. Hearing about the fights and the yelling that went on between girls each and every day became exhausting. As it is with all guys I tried to give advice but that was not the right thing to do. All she really wanted was someone to listen, which I did not really want to do anymore. Then on times where she would say my advice was sound- the same type of incident would happen within 48 hours, almost as if to say it does not matter what you say I will do what I want.
Then you need to add into the equation that I am not a man that is ok with sharing the girl I am dating with another guy. I am sure that there are men out there that can handle it, but my morals and ethics just make it way too difficult. If you are looking to “rescue” a girl from that profession you have to make sure you can at least match the money she is making each week on a regular basis and also make sure that she really wants to get out of the business. Many of the girls do not want to leave it. They get to go out and party every night. They get free drinks and then make money having sex, which many girls go out and want to do as much as guys. That is one thing I have noticed, men and women are not that different when it comes to wanting to go out and hook up. The only difference is it is seen in a negative manner and the reputation that it can bring to a woman. They are seen as a slut or easy, where a man is seen as a player or stud.
After about 5 to 6 weeks of this toxic relationship it was time for me to get out. I thought that this would be the easiest part. How often can you say “I’m sorry I cannot date you because of your lifestyle” and have it really be a legit, understandable reason for the other person? The only thing is this conversation did not go as planned. The fact that I could not handle her job was not enough. This was the biggest reason I got into this situation; the ease of escape. After an emotional battle of words it finally ended, with both of us trying to say things to push the other away.
You learn from every situation and every relationship. This one was no different. It was time for me to buckle down and start making steps to focus and move forward the business side of my life. I had decided that there was no need for dating or a relationship until I was more financially stable and established professionally.
What was the best way to accomplish this? As it always is in the world there were two paths…..the easy buck or the long journey ending in success. It was time to choose and refocus.
Next Up – Pursuing the Almighty Dollar