Living in Costa Rica – Having taken the journey to Costa Rica 6 years ago, there are some cultural nuances that I have come to identify that are very common when it comes to day to day living in the land of “Pura Vida”. One of the biggest things I have noticed is that 90% of Costa Ricans have a hidden agenda in pretty much everything they do.
I look back and realize that in almost every interaction I have had with a Costa Rican, if they are not getting something out of it they will not be involved. Now I know this exists around the world but in Costa Rica it is taken to the extreme.
If there was something I did not really want to do but either told someone I would do or was to help someone else, like helping them move or fixing a flat tire, I would do it for respect of the other person. In Costa Rica, it would not be uncommon to hear a person tell a person yes I will come but can you pay me, or flat out lie and say they have something else they are doing when they do not. They will even say that they are coming and that they want to be involved and then just not show up.
One thing that you should put in the back of your mind is this little piece of information as I heard it from a Costa Rican business partner I once had, Costa Ricans are just automatically rude to you until they get to know you.
If a Costa Rican approaches you with a smile and is nice to you, there is a reason, they want to sell you something or they want you to give them something. Always remember this when you are interacting with others in Costa Rica. This not only applies to Costa Ricans it also applies to most gringos that have lived in Costa Rica for a long period of time and have adjusted to this part of the Costa Rica culture.
Guys, those girls that approach you at a bar in downtown San Jose are not attracted to your personality. Remember to keep one hand on your wallet.
I will give the example of the Christmas Party that The Costa Rican Times had for the disabled children at the orphanage. Over a 3 month period we asked for donations of money, supplies and gifts for the children. I went out to talk to people about being involved in some way even if it was just to come to the party to show the children they were loved. I myself had about 25 to 30 Costa Ricans say they wanted to help of which 3 of them I considered friends. The ones that
showed up and actually helped were my 3 friends the rest were all talk and did nothing. Those 3 friends brought about 2 friends each.
You might be thinking to yourself well this is just interactions between gringos and Costa Ricans and that Costa Ricans just do not trust someone of a different culture, unfortunately it applies to everyone. One of my Costa Rican friends that came to the orphanage had between 20 and 25 people that said they were going to bring gifts, if which 1 or 2 actually did.
Here is some advice to seeing if there is a hidden agenda in your interactions:
- Learn to read body language. It is easy for manipulative people to control themselves and not speak their thoughts aloud, but it’s not so easy for them to hide their true feelings in their gestures and facial expressions
- Watch people carefully over time to detect patterns in their behavior
- Anticipate all possible consequences whenever someone manipulative makes a suggestion. Ask yourself, “Who is really going to benefit?”
- Be suspicious whenever something sounds too good to be true.
- Ask lots of questions when you suspect someone of having a hidden agenda. Even if they do not answer your questions truthfully, your questions will make them uncomfortable and defensive
8 comments
I will not give my age to protect against identity theft, however, I will say that I am a well seasoned adult.
I also want to say that I have seen many articles written by Mr. Stevens that are full of useful info and point to reasonable conclusions.
Also, it is important for me to note that since my knowledge and feel for the Costa Rica people is based on my living in C.R. for no more than 3 months and the discussions I have with my son from time to time who has lived in and around C.R. for more than 15 years, I recognize that I should NOT get into any analysis of the C.R. population. I just don’t have enough experience nor facts about Ticos to do that. HOWEVER, I have grown up and been educated in the U.S.A. and have had a 38 year career that I am now retired from as well as also having worked in several other business settings, both private and public. SO…I DO feel qualified to make statements about my fellow gringos in the U.S.A.
According to the 2011 estimate of population in the U.S.A. that is based on the 2010 census, there were 218.1 million people in the U.S.A. who were OVER the age of 18. For rough figuring just add another 3 million to get the number of people over 18 years of age in the U.S.A. by January 2013. Now, believe me, EVERY ONE OF THOSE ADULTS HAS AN AGENDA IN *ALL* THE THINGS THAT THEY DO. Even those who regularly donate money usually have 4 basic questions to ask, which I’ll put in the order of importance, number 1 being most important: 1) Is the charity certified to be used to get a reduction in my federal & state income taxes?, 2) Do the principles of the charity agree with my prejudices?, 3) Will my friends & associates see it as all right for me to be donating to this charity?, and 4) Is there some way I can validate that my money will be well used?
AND, I certainly agree with Mr. Steven’s statement that “If you would not do something in your home country, do not do it here either.” In other words, all the cautionary statements that Mr. Stevens makes about Costa Ricans, I would also make about those 221 million adult U.S. citizens.
Just one example: a person gets a flat tire on a well travelled highway in the U.S.A. That person does not have a jack with which to put on the spare tire. Which kind of driver do you think will get someone to stop to help? Here’s a list: A young shapely girl with a big smile & a small skirt; a man dressed in an expensive suit who appears to be able to give a thank you *gift* to whomever stops, anyone else waving a $50 bill. That is why millions of U.S.A. citizens pay heavy fees to belong to automobile service clubs so they don’t have to grow old waiting for someone to stop to help. They just call the AAA (that’s one of those auto service clubs).
And if you still need more convincing that U.S.A. citizens are out to take advantage of their fellow citizens, did you follow the campaigning for president that we just had in 2012? BILLIONS of U.S. dollars were spent by wealthy Americans who contributed to professional campaign organizations whose sole purpose is to create events and television ads that use ANY means, including out right lying, to try to get people to vote a certain way. All of the above is the “American Way”, not just the way things are done in Costa Rica. I’ve also spent a lot of time in Mexico, the home country of all 4 of my grandparents. That would be another long story, so I’ll just say *igualmente* for Mexicans, as well.
Dan, I have been here a lot longer. However, I do not think the agenda is hidden… and it always what can I get from the gringo. I have heard gringo’s in bars telling strange women and other like myself they get pensions and property of $5,000 a month or more. Bragging.. Then the bar bill comes and they start arguing over the charges. Go figure! These women pass on this information and expect 100 bucks for company the guy offers $40.. They are angry. WE as in the Queens we have ruined it. Walking downtown hearing “‘oh my friend”” I keep on walking. Sitting in the park someone approaches me starts talking in English I get up immediately and walk off. A friend of mine knew a taxi drive Starling for years. He asked a favor and barrow a 100 dollars would pay him back in 2 weeks. It now been almost 2 years. None of us use him anymore he lost a lot more than this. My friend knew it sort of but I known him for 10 years. Eventually some how we fall for their scheme. He asked me for a 10 mil I said what do you have that worth a 100 dollars as collateral he walked away. There is no HIDDEN agenda very transparent at least to me.
Dwayne,
You make some good points.
I would like to add that the gringo arguing about the bar bill is doing exactly what he would do in the U.S.A. Except there he would do it with a lawyer to represent him. In C.R. he expects that a loud argument will get the bar owner or manager to reduce the bill, even though that gringo knows all the charges are correct.
*Greed* is the most important word in the U.S.A. An example is that individual U.S. citizens who live in the U.S.A. and have the wealth that is counted in millions or billions of U.S. dollars are paying people to fight a tiny percent raise in their taxes. Even though they already have more money than they can spend in their lifetime, even considering setting up all of their family with gigantic trust funds; and even though they can pay the higher taxes out of their pocket change, they still fight against a small raise in taxes that is needed to fund the government. Gringos who don’t have millions of U.S. dollars but who are very comfortably wealthy are just as greedy. They are the guy who you see arguing in the bar.
I’ve been here in CR a long time… and believe the phrase “Pura Vida” seems to be used less often these days… but i learned it’s true meaning awhile back. You may have or will experience the same. In doing business dealings with Ticos, they seem to come out on top, frequently leaving the unsuspecting Gringo in the dust. With each such experience I’ve had with them, I’ve heard them walk away laughing and saying “Pura Vida”. It took only a couple of times to realize the actual translation… “Eat s@$t, Gringo.”
We come here usually from North America. Raised about being honest and handshake and your word meant something. You come here in Costa Rica soon learn they do not play by the same rules. Even the attorneys are in on the deal. I wanted to sell my house. The neighbor said how much I gave him a figure and terms. He then brought someone to look at it I found out he upped the price on what I gave him. He said that is how it is done I said no thank you. They see nothing wrong in making a bid for work then have someone else do it for less and they want to collect, I am told that is how it is done Pura Vida. Oh I sold my house myself for the price I set. I do my own contacting. I buy all material pay for work injuries insurance and supervise the job. Saves me and get the job done right.
I found myself making a lot of generalizations about Ticos. At one time or another, I probably noted all the things mentioned above. Then, I decided to set a standard of measurement. My standard is this: Each time I notice a ‘Tico’ characteristic that annoys me, I ask myself–Did I ever note this behavior in the United States? The answer has always been, ‘Yes.’ Maybe it happens more often in CR than the USA. Or maybe it depends a lot on where we lived in the USA and where we live in CR. There are so many variables that it makes it difficult to say “This is a Costa Rican characteristic.” Customs do vary from country to country, but I think that there are a lot of negative human characteristics that know no national borders.
I appreciate your concise & clearly stated comment *hpwolfe* and I fully agree with your use of the “standard of measurement.” I will save you & other readers some time by just referring to the first comment in this series of comments that was made by me on 15 January about the article by Dan Stevens, and also referring to the comment I made to Dwayne, that is above, too. I still maintain I am not qualified to make any value judgment about Ticos because I have had so little experience living amongst their culture. However, I’d like to describe one experience I had in which the behavior of los costarricenses impacted me directly.
In most of April and the early part of May, 2012 I used La Posada de San Ramon as my base of operations while taking care of personal business & doing some sightseeing in other parts of C.R. as well. One evening upon returning from a very long and tiring day my gringo girlfriend & I were crossing the street from the hotel office to our room that was in the units on the other side of the street. My girlfriend slipped on some wet painted concrete and fell heavily. I was about 17 meters from her, facing away from her location when I heard the heavy thud of her body and the noise the baggage she was pulling made as it slid on the pavement of the wet street. I turned about to see my girlfriend lying in the street on her back. Before I could react & run over to help her there were 4 Ticos who had come to her aid. 3 of the Ticos were NOT employees of the hotel. They were just people who were doing their own personal business on that street, or just sitting on their porch, nearby. They all acted in a very caring way and in no way; by word, action, or attitude did any of them state or imply that they felt they should receive some benefit, monetary or otherwise, because they had helped me and my girlfriend. At the time I was so filled with fear that my girlfriend might have suffered a bone break or other injury that i didn’t think about how quickly those Ticos came to our aid as real good Samaritans. Later, upon reflection, I felt guilty that I had not thought to say more than “gracias”, even given that I would have had to use my inadequate mangled Spanish, which would have been embarassing to me. I’ll never forget their good deed.
If you had slipped they would have just laughed. That being said when it comes to my articles I am making generalizations of the majority of the population not everyone.